Twenty-nine years ago today, the Ides of March opened the worst period of my life (to date–I learned to never challenge worse) — my then-husband suffered a serious head injury and was never the same (I’ve since realized that my eyes were opened to who he really was), my dog died, and my youngest sister was diagnosed with an eventually fatal brain tumor. The Ides ushered in the head injury. My parents were visiting us, for the first and only time in my adult life. They had to leave before the true extent of my husband’s head injury became apparent. My sister was still a happy seven-year old, unaware of the tumor that would begin her final journey just a few months later.
Eventually, I divorced the husband, I still have the ashes of the dog, and my sister, after guiding the rest of the family spiritually, met our Maker six months before her tenth birthday. Just before her first surgery, she reassured our grandmother, “Don’t worry Grandma. Jesus is with me.” I learned a lot about what is currently called “adulting” during those few terrible years of my life, but there were many good memories during those tough years, too.  She made a huge difference for my father, too. My father has lost two children in his life, one shortly after I was born, and Debbie. They played an incredible synergistic role in his life. He shared his faith journey in this YouTube video for his church, and it’s worth a listen.
Life is a series of ups and downs, and this month’s scroll assures us these ups and downs are normal, even essential. The scroll’s lyrical tone is comforting, but the message is clear. While the ups and downs are normal, how we deal with them is critical.
If I bring rain and gloom and darkness and pessimism to my customers then they react with rain and gloom and darkness and pessimism and they purchase naught. If I bring joy and enthusiasm and brightness and laughter to my customers they will react with joy and enthusiasm and laughter and my weather produces a harvest of sales and a granary of gold for me.
Equally important, we also understand and recognize the moods of the people around us. We make allowances for their anger and irritation, because they do not know the secret of controlling their minds. We understand that while today they may be grouchy, tomorrow, they may be pleasant and a joy to be with. In the same vein, today, they may not be interested in our tremendous bargain, but tomorrow, they may pay us twice what a useless trinket is worth. Because of that, we do not form our impressions upon just one meeting, but keep an open mind.
What have your Ides of March been? How have you recovered?
Such a powerful message in your father’s faith message. The faith of your sister Debbie, brought out emotions, to say the least, in me… 77′ is the year my mom passed. Church for me was as your father described. Like Debbie, it was my mother who instilled the “love and safety” in me. I accepted Christ at 16, the year my father died. At 22, mom passed in my arms as the longest surviving cancer patient in the U.S. on chemo (18 years of cancer battles). I have no doubt God protected me over the next 25 years, even though I strayed. I met my wife Marj 10 years ago. She has faith as strong as my mom and has been a true blessing for me. Thank you Jean, for sharing such a powerful post. If I could be there now, know that I would be giving you a great big hug. So let’s just consider it an “air” hug at the moment you read this.
Thank you, Dave. I’m returning that hug.
I was deeply moved reading your post. Your dad’s quiet strength came through so clearly in the video and I sense that in you also through your writing. Thank you so much for sharing this painful part of your life that brought you to where you are right now. Blessings.
Thank you, Marilyn.
Jean, your father’s words were so beautifully spoken. I can’t even begin to describe the things I felt as I listened but my faith has been reinforced with a greater understanding of what it means. Thank you so much for sharing!