Ever wondered why inhaling oxygen seems to cause you to gain weight? Well, there might be an answer for part of it–especially if you’re female and over 40. See, if you haven’t figured it out yet, that’s when our bodies start preparing us for “The Change.” Usually discussed in hushed tones in gender-segregated conversations–women exhanging symptoms and men commiserating about what they have to endure; it’s a great sport of one-upsmanship in both camps. But, what we’re talking about here is menopause and how it affects women’s bodies.

I’ve been idly thinking I really ought to start looking into this thing for, oh, say the last four or five years now. It’s been right there on the periphery of my mental radar screen. Then I had a conversation with one of my friends while I was their houseguest last week, and I had to confront it. Yeah, it’s looming, and my body is telling me, “Hey, you! Listen up!” So I perused a couple books my friend had purchased. I’ll either get the one she’s using or “Menopause for Dummies” or both. I also picked up a book (forgot to list on the recently purchased list provided below, but I’ll add it here): Jorge Cruise’s The 3-Hour Diet. One of the recommendations to stave off the weight gain accompanying the near-immediate shut down of metabolism while the body goes off to destroy any leftover eggs (not scientifcally verified–that’s my theory) is to eat smaller, more frequent meals. Jorge’s book has this laid out in a reasonable way, and he offers real world solutions that real people can apply. (I’d already been impressed by Jorge’s 8 Minutes in the Morning that came out a couple years ago–I followed it through religiously and it works. I failed to restart the program for the next cycle, but that was my fault, not Jorge’s.)

There’s a bunch of other “symptoms” but I’ll spare you the details here. If you’re near or over 40, female, and noticing strange things beginning to happen, now’s a good time to do a little reading about this topic. Oh yeah, anyone have books or websites to suggest?

This has been a public service announcement designed to ease both your pain and suffering and that of your significant other as well as those who love you or have to endure you.