I had the privilege of having breakfast with Marshall Goldsmith of Marshall Goldsmith Partners and Frances Hesselbein of Leader to Leader, formerly The Drucker Foundation, as well as Mr. Larry Olson from Wiley Publishing, my commander, and seven of my colleagues this morning.

I knew I was going to be doing this for at least a week. I confess I didn’t know Mrs. Hesselbein’s publisher would be there–though I was able to converse with him about the joys of parking in New York. I know what these people specialize in–leadership and executive coaching. I sat next to Mr. Goldsmith. I would reasonably have expected him to talk to me–that’s why we were there. I was talking to our commander, and out of the blue (to me), Mr. Goldsmith turns to me and says, “What can I do for you?”

I managed to look stupid and made the obvious statement, “I know who you are and what you do, so I should reasonably be expected to be prepared to answer that question.” I came up bone dry. He carried on a discussion with my co-workers across the table. Four hours later, I realized I should have asked him how I can better prepare myself for these situations, since I routinely find myself at a loss in these professional social situations. I wind up looking like a complete drip.

The obvious answer, to me, is at least four to six hours before I know I’m going to be in a situation like this, I should prepare an answer for this type of question. It should be the simplest thing in the world.

I walked back to the office in a driving rainstorm (didn’t bring my umbrella) and joined the rest of my colleagues in a session where we got our Myers-Briggs Type Indicator results back. I, if anyone cares, am an INTJ. I’m a hard-over Introvert (draw my energy from solitude) and a moderate NTJ (mostly these, but I move comfortably to the other preferences). I’m ok with this, and agree is represents my preferred style.

INTJs represent approximately 12% of the US population, and female INTJs are quite rare even in that population. And I’m nearly the exact opposite of the type of person who usually gravitates to military service. While I’m predominantly a J, my work style is more on the P (perceiving style), meaning it represents the path frequently drawn in a Family Circus comic depicting one of the kid’s travels.

And, frankly, this dove-tails nicely to explain why I experienced what I experienced this morning during breakfast at the golf course. It also explains why I have to make a point to take the corrective action I decided upon for future events like this. While it’s one thing to understand my preferences, it’s quite another not to be prepared to compensate for them in professional situations.

One of the cool things about Marshall Goldsmith is his on-line library where he makes all his stuff available for free. Like Holly Lisle‘s resources for writers, Marshall Goldsmith has resources for leaders. Since we’re all leaders of some variety, this library is invaluable. Check it out. I’ll add it to my sidebar in case you want to check later.