My primary computer at home is fixed, but I gravitated to Panera today with the laptop anyway. I wanted to do some work on Threads and Ties. I’m not writing manuscript, but I am laying out what’s happening and what I want my words to convey when I am able to write them. Some people might call this outlining. Whatever you call it, I’m achieving some level of clarity that has been missing.

In the Blogosphere rounds I’ve made this morning, two of my favorite bloggers have touched nerves. PBW talks about writing being un-easy and compares it to Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel work. She notes, “Every time being a writer is tough for you, it’s teaching you something.” Writing has been very tough for me lately, and I know it’s because it’s trying to teach me something. I believe the story in Threads and Ties is important — it needs to be told, but I need to do it well, and I’m stuck in the middle. I’m finding inspiration in unusual places. A friend of mine forwarded one of those PowerPoint slide presentations that have a lesson — this one was about Mother Theresa and her words of wisdom. I found inspiration in it for Nikki and have a better handle on what changes she needs to make in her life — what realization she comes to as she matures which will enable her to fulfill her role in life. She’s resisting, but that’s quite normal for people as they make fundamental changes in their lifelong outlooks.

On a slightly different tack, Tambo talks about difficulties accepting praise and good in a post titled, “The One I Feed.” For a variety of reasons, praise is sometimes as difficult to accept as criticism. In some cases, more difficult. The Native American Parable she quotes reads:

When asked about spirituality, a Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner:“Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.”

When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, “The one I feed.”

When I begin each day, I need to ask myself, “Which dog will I feed today?” I hope I choose to feed the good dog.

I have half a cup of coffee left. Maybe I can commune more with my characters, so I can get through the middle of this book to the happier ending that lays in wait for them.