Annoyances
I wandered over to Panera for breakfast and to write this morning. When I got here, it was quiet. I found my favorite seat next to the fireplace and window and set up, prepared to relax. As I was engaged in today’s research (Zen — I hear people talk about it all the time but don’t know much about it), a couple with two kids occupied the bench and chairs on the side of the fireplace opposite to me. Mom pulled out her laptop and began pecking away while dad went to get whatever they were going to get. Not long after (I’m engrossed in minding my own business and listening to my iPod), the piercing sound of young children’s voices penetrates my fog. The boy was four or five, and the girl was around three. They’re screaming as only kids that age can scream and are bouncing around or running around the table. Mom is oblivious. Dad hasn’t come back from getting their stuff yet. I wait a minute, figuring to give the parents a chance to act. The people at the table behind them clear out. I get up to empy my trash and scout another place I like to sit around the corner and out of direct fire. Two ladies who had been acting as if they wanted to sit in the area near where I was grabbed the table I was thinking about. I returned to my table and noticed dad was talking quietly and seriously to the little boy. Little boy appeared to be listening. I sat down. Maybe things would calm down. Less than two minutes later I hear the loud voices of children again. The little girl is standing not far from me and beginning to sniffle. Mom is still oblivous (really, lady, they won’t go away if you ignore them). At this point, I pick up my recently refilled coffee cup, computer sleeve and computer, and walk outside to the patio. Ahhhh. Peace. It’s a beautiful day. That’s as Zen as I can be. A true Zen-master would have been able to tune all that crap out, but I’m not there.
On the patio, only brief shrieks carrying through the glass to periodically shatter the peace. For about an hour. Then I heard the kids outside at the other end of the patio — running and shrieking around the pillars. Clearly, they’re normal kids with a lot of energy to burn who didn’t want to be cooped up with mom and dad in a coffee shop this morning. But I don’t need to be subjected to that crap. I found myself wishing they’d be smushed under a car (No. In reality, that wouldn’t have been a good thing, but in fantasyland…). Then mom came out and sat at a table and watched them run. Eventually, dad came out and they ambled to their minivan, smiling all the way (was this a planned mission to torture the Panera customer base?). They loaded up the beasts and drove away.
This is why I detest kids. Kids that are well-behaved in public (and there are many of them)? I love those kids. They are a joy.
The problem is, you can’t always tell at first glance which kids are which. Back to writing. All you hen-pecked parents trying your best to raise productive members of society whom I’ve just annoyed and insulted? Feel free to write back with your side of the story.
I’m a parent and trust me, I’m not offended in the least! I detest children like that as well and while my kids sit well behaved next to me I aim furious glares at the parents of the monsters.
My children are older now but when they were kids that sort of behavior was not tolerated. They got loud, we left the public place we were at. They misbehaved, we left the public place we were at. Crying? Yelling? You got it, we left the public place we were at.
I’d never, ever subject my fellow humans to poorly behaved children.
Yeah, when they were little we didn’t do too much but now they they are older and know the consequences of their actions we are able to go pretty much anywhere and all of us enjoy ourselves.
Trust me, we’re not all oblivious parents.
Oh, I know that. My stepdaughter’s children (my grandchildren) have been raised as you describe. They are wonderful — have been nearly since infancy. I know it isn’t easy, but it can be done. I’ve been proud of the parenting done by my stepdaughter and son-in-law.
Amen, sisters! My kids were always great in public. At home was a different story! We never had a grocery store tantrum. They never cried and whined when they couldn’t get what they wanted. When they were toddlers I kept a kid harness in my purse, and both of them wore it twice. After that, the threat was enough. When they outgrew the harness I switched to a wooden spoon, and that was even effective on my brattiest niece! The spoon never had to come out in public. Now my kids glare evilly at kids who misbehave in public!
Add me to the stack.
The kid was not allowed to run amok or pitch a fit in public. Once when she was about 3 and we were at the grocery store, she wanted chocolate milk, which was not in the budget. At all. I told her no, and she whined “But moooooommmm! I waaaant chocolate miiiilllkkkk!” Just like some other nearby kid her age was whining for things. And mom let pass. Every time.
Told her no. She did it again. Told her no again (sterner), and warned her that if she tried it a third time she’d get a spanking and we’d leave, groceries or no groceries.
She did, and we did, and she never tried it again. I think that a lot of the problem lies when the parent says to “Stop that, or fill-in-the-blank-will-happen.” The kid tries again, and receives the same warning. And again. And again, all to get a warning. So they quickly learn the promised punishment is an empty threat. The kid’s sixteen now, almost seventeen, and is still a joy to take places.
I can’t say my precious little angel wouldn’t act that way in public (you never do know how they’re going to act on any given day,) but I DO know that I would put it to an end as quickly as possible, by leaving as soon as we had our food and drinks.
Shawna, you emphasize a good point — one I think has been made indirectly by the other commenters — it is a parent problem.
I chose not to have kids, so I know I don’t earn much respect from the people who have fought this battle on a daily basis for many years. I’m sure there are days when you just get too worn down.
My (4) kids once refused to play at an indoor McDonald’s playground because of two screaming mimi’s. My four-year-old plugged his ears and said, “Can we just go?”
That’s not to say that mine have never been a public nuisance. But they’ve never been one longer than five minutes.
New to your blog…and loving it! This entry is a funny one, in that it reminds me of how only…what was it, ten, twenty years ago?…kids would never have gotten away with that in a public place. They would have been spanked soundly and put in the car for a “time out,” even though I think it was called something else back then. My parents had 14 kids, and we were scared spitless of what might happen to us if we misbehaved in public. Of course, we’re all in therapy now…
:~)
LOL, Christian, and welcome. I’ve known a few people with as many siblings as you. They said approximately the same thing. 😉
I think everyone’s kids, no matter how well-behaved, have mis-behaved in public at one time or another. As Jenne says, you just never know. Your kids have the capacity to surprise the daylights out of you. I know my mom has said that about her kids — usually on the days a complete stranger complimented her on their behavior. But I remember several instances when I was very young of being taken outside and “talked to.” I may even have been spanked. I guarantee I deserved it.
Parents of children like this are idiots. I can’t say it any other way. Out children listen to us…because…we don’t just blabber endless threats, we punish from an early age if they don’t listen. Dolts like that couple fear “scarring’ the children if they discipline.
Polite children aren’t born, they are made. And no, we don’t hit our kids, or even raise our voice. We simply give them one chance to obey, and if they don’t they are punished.
As a parent, I don’t have the time or energy to tolerate jerk kids. I wish I didn’t have to put up with the brats of others.
If, I mean WHEN, I behaved like that when I was a kid, my mother would let me know what would happen when we got to the car If I acted up again. I only called her bluff once. She wasn’t bluffing.
A commentator I listen to on the radio is of the opinion that restaurants should have “No Children” areas like they used to have “No Smoking”. I think that’s a good idea.
Glad NaNo’s going well for you. Hope work doesn’t beat you down this week.