Friday Snippet: Threads & Ties, Scene 3
Here’s Scene 3 from Threads & Ties. You should gain a little insight into Nikki and some events that shaped her. I’m away from the web until later Sunday night, so I’ll be a little slow getting around to check out your snippets, but I’ll do my best to get there by Monday.
NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, certainly contains errors, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft of anything. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks.
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1973
Nikki began drying the dishes she’d just finished washing. Her mother sat at the kitchen table, smoking, finishing her highball, and critiquing her work. Talk turned to her and Jeff, “You’re spending too much time with that Forrester boy. When girls and boys spend so much time together, they can only be doing one thing.” She stubbed the cigarette out in her saucer and carried the saucer to sink, dumping it in
Horrified, Nikki’s eyes widened, “No!”
Her mother slapped her, “Don’t lie to me.”
Nikki cringed, “I’m not lying to you. We’re not having sex. That’s gross.”
Her mother studied her, “I don’t believe you. You little tramp. Don’t be bringing any little squalling brats into this house to disgrace us any more than you already have. Finish those dishes and get the laundry folded.” Her mother turned on her heel and stalked into the living room to watch TV with her father, stopping to mix a fresh drink on the way.
Nikki finished drying the dishes, washed and dried her mother’s saucer, snagged the cigarette butt and placed it in the trash before she moved to the laundry room to pull the clothes out of the dryer to fold them. She overheard her mother talking about “The Tramp” with her father, and wondered how long her mother would call her that. At least it was better than “Killer.” Her father had put a stop to that shortly after her brother died, but she didn’t doubt her mother still called her that in her heart. She trudged up the stairs with the folded laundry, putting hers away and setting the laundry basket outside her parents’ room–her mother didn’t allow her inside. She returned to her room to work on homework until it was time for bed, closing the door behind her. She sat at her desk, staring blankly at the page before her. She wanted to cry, but what good would it do? Her mother blamed her for her brother’s death. She’d always believe Nikki had been responsible for his death.
She blinked her eyes and looked back at the page in front of her. Killer. Tramp. At least she could form her own rock band. She began diagramming sentences.
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Oh, man, this is a killer. I feel so badly for NIkki!
Man, her mom is…eesh. I definitely feel for Nikki and hope things turn up. 🙂
What’s sad is that there are mothers out there who are really like that 🙁
I’m glad you are explaining why Nikki is so screwed up. It makes her attempts to connect with Cole so much more poignant.
Does her father help her out at all? Or does he just go along with her mom? I hope things get better for her. Have a great weekend.
Ann, her dad never really does “get it.” He’s tied up in his career. He does redeem himself as a grandpa, but her mother never comes around.
This is much earlier in the book than my previous snippets, so you would have known what Nikki had been through growing up before you encountered her adult self. I’m glad this part of the book is helping you see where she’s coming from.
People overcome bad situations when they’re growing up to become wonderful adults, and people who had wonderful situations growing up become awful adults, so things don’t always have to make sense. It’s just easier if a fiction reader can find some basis for a character’s actions, I think.
Poor Nikki.
My only thought was when I got to the comment, “At least she could form her own rock band.” Wha-? It seems out of place. Death, sex… but a rock band makes up for it. I don’t know, it might because I’ve only read one or two prior snippets from this but the rock band comment through me. Loved the last sentence, though.
I think the rock band reference was a takeoff of Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves” which was popular in the late 60s. Nikki would have been familiar with it from the Sonny and Cher show.
It just may not make sense to most readers, and if it throws them out of the story, I should remove it. That’s something I have to watch for with stream of consciousness writing. Sometimes things creep in from my subconscious that make sense to me but would never make a connection for a reader. Thanks for mentioning the confusion, Jess.
I wasn’t confused by the rock band comment. It seemed to me to convey the flippant despair of a young girl having to endure the torment her mother is inflicting on her. Nice excerpt, although almost unbearably sad.
Of course, I’m of the age to remember the Sonny and Cher show quite well. And not on TVLand, either 🙂
Me, too. 😉 Jeff and Nikki are my contemporaries, though.
i love references to contemporary (for the character) pop culture or events. it helps set the ambiance. this is one of the things i love about The Gilmore Girls. I probably get less than half of the obscure references they throw into that fast paced dialog but when i do get them it it gives me a little frisson that adds exponentially to my enjoyment of the story. it also gives depth to characters by indicating what they are interested in.
to ally possible confusion you could have her gazing at a poster or album cover or listening to the radio while she contemplates a future career with the potential to pull her out of her current life like a healthy tooth out of rotten gums.
and that dad. arrgh! he sounds passive/aggressive and in my book a passive/aggressive who witnesses brutality and does nothing to protect the victim is an equally culpable participant in it. double true in the case of a parent.
i’m sorry i missed this last week. i loved the one before this too. i have yet to explore backward to any snippets previous to that one tho. so i’ve never met nikki as an adult.