No.  I don’t have any advice.  I have plenty of opinions, but since I chose not to be involved in parenting more than cats, dogs, and rare assorted other mammals, I have no credibility, so you probably aren’t interested in my opinions (not that that keeps me from offering them from time to time).  And, since anyone who follows my commentary about how the cats run roughshod over me knows, I probably have no credibility there, either.

I often wonder what goes through the minds of parents.  I know there are some conscientious parents out there.  Their kids aren’t always perfect.  I’ve even known some conscientious parents who have terrible kids.  That is why I’m opposed to courts holding them legally responsible for some kids’ actions — sure look into the parent’s role, but I hope they discover that the parent has done everything reasonable, and quite a bit unreasonable to provide the proper environment for their child to fit into society and it hasn’t worked.

Those aren’t the parents I wonder about.  Those are the parents who are doing what they are supposed to do.  They may or may not have wanted the job, but they have embraced it and are doing the best they possibly can.

No.  I wonder about the parent who doesn’t want to be a parent or the one who thought they wanted someone to love them and discovered it doesn’t work that way.  The people who are stuck with the job for whatever reason and aren’t (by all appearances)  trying.  What’s going on behind the scenes?

Was something missing that could have helped them become better parents?  Did they want to be good parents at one time?  How many had a kid because they were supposed to have one and not because they had any desire to have one?  How many have accessories instead of children?  These parents cross all socio-economic lines.  I’m not talking about ghetto parents who work three jobs or are overwhelmed by life or substance abuse or welfare queens who have more kids to increase their benefits.  I’m also talking about high flying socialites or celebrities who are “filling” a square and having kids either because their parents expect it or society or their agent says it would be good for their image.  Then they are raised by caretakers like Bo, the Obama’s dog, and carted out for photo ops as deemed appropriate.

What goes through the minds of those parents?  This is an example of normal being something different for everyone.  The amazing thing is, kids adapt and overcome and become a success or failure just as often in spite of as well as because of their parents.  It kind of makes you wonder why a parent bothers if a kid will succeed in spite of them.  But, I suspect someone took an interest in that kid if the parent didn’t, and that made a difference.

To me, it’s intimidating and perplexing.