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Last Chance — 5 Comments

  1. Just stopping by to say “Hi” from the A-Z list and wish you good luck with the rest of the challenge πŸ™‚

    Revenge is sweet πŸ˜‰ x

  2. nice but the bullies didn’t learn anything from this. They should be more scared maybe race to the nurse crying like little boys. That’d give your MC some satisfaction. The bullies are acting too cool.

  3. At first I thought Tribble was a ghost, haunting the house his family deserted after his death.

    I like the basic idea: kid taunted by bullies fights back. Can you take it up a notch? What makes Tribble feel “taunted”? Have the bullies hit a nerve with him? Is there a lot of history there? Does one of the bullies have something that Tribble wants (or used to have), such as the friendship of a special girl or boy?

    The red india ink (I didn’t know there was such a thing) is pretty cool, and the idea of the super soaker is cool, too. Long range weapons always make things more interesting. πŸ™‚

    Poor Tribble–I hope he gets to school on time, and doesn’t get caught with that water gun. He could be expelled for that!

    • Excellent questions. I’m not sure this story has a place in my repertoire, but the abandoned house has a place somewhere.