Zoo
What have I gotten myself into? Odor. Overpowering. Cover nose. That cuts it. A little. I opened my eyes. How austere. Looks nothing like the tundra. I seem to be alone. I lifted my head. The odor abated some. I stood up. Not so overpowering. I shook my body to get the kinks out and to try to clear my head from whatever they’d used to knock me out to bring me to wherever I was now. I bounced lightly on my front paws. Sturdy. Solid. Good. I walked to the edge of the place I was in, until my path was blocked by something. Hard, porous, room to poke my nose through, but hard, vertical…things. I turned. I walked to the corner. Hard. Blocked my path. Couldn’t see through it. Turned again. Brushed the hard thing as I walked. A lot of strange stuff in front of me. Ouch! I didn’t see that. A substance I can see through but not walk through? A human is sitting over there. I lifted a paw and pressed on the clear substance in front of me. Firm. But I can see through it. Interesting. The human watches me. Scratching on something in front of her. Curious. I walked along the clear, impenetrable substance. Back to the hard, porous, room to poke my nose through things. I turned around, sat down, and watched the human watch me. Another human came in and spoke with her. She gestured, and the other human slid a tray with food through an opening. Smells unusual. Nothing I’ve ever seen before. I glanced at the woman watching me. I angled my nose. Sniffed. The human still watched. I placed my paw on the orange stick-like things. The white things were soft. I pulled the tray toward me. The human scratched more things. I lowered my jaws and tried the orange stick-like things. Crunchy. A little sweet. Good. I pulled the white things into my mouth. Soft. Chewy. Almost melts on my tongue. Brown nuggets under the white stuff. Not unappealing. Crunchy. I finished the snack, curled up in front of the clear solid substance, placed my nose on my paws, and, through my lidded eyes, watched the human watch me.
I must have slept. Slipping. I didn’t hear anything. I opened my eyes. The human was not there to watch me, but I smelled it. Where was it? I turned my head. There.
“Good morning.”
It spoke. I tipped my muzzle in it’s direction.
“Welcome to Winnipeg. I hope you’re comfortable.”
Winnipeg, eh? I stretched.
“Yoga? Downward facing dog. Good idea.”
Stretching is yoga? The human was on the other side of those hard, porous things with space between them.
“By the way, my name is Mindy. You’re probably wondering why you’re here.”
She paused as if she expected a response.
“You’re the major subject in a research project I’m conducting. I want to see if a polar bear can live among humans.”
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I love this except for one thing. The constant shift in sentence time is a little jarring. Since you have to have the thoughts in present tense, you might want to adjust the rest of the text to present tense too. At least whenever you are in the polar bear’s POV. Hurry up and get this published. I really, really want to read this story.
I’m still on lesson 17 of HTRYN with this one. Hoping to wrap that up soon and get back to making forward progress again. I appreciate the feedback on tense and will take a look at it.
Ah! Ah! Ah! This is it!
So exciting!
Your character is so zen about everything. I’d be throwing nine kinds of fits, but then, I’m not a polar bear.
What is Mindy’s motivation?