I’m not sure what to make of this, but my name is on the list. I have mixed emotions. I can safely say now that as late as Saturday night, I had entered in my journal I was not going to apply for this. I maintained now was not the time for me, even though I felt a tug to get right in my head, because I know my issues are not due to lack of knowledge, but they are due to my subconscious mind sabotaging my efforts. It does this for a reason, and I’m looking forward to reprogramming it for more desirable outcomes.
I returned from out of town and had time to listen to the rebroadcast of the Q&A session. While I was listening to that, I became very comfortable with the idea of submitting my Pay-It-Forward Scholarship application. I realized the things that concerned me about Mark J’s conversation were simply his journey. His experiences. While I believe he’s had some background experiences that were similar to my experiences, they are a different journey from mine. They are not incompatible with my journey and may provide some common ground.
I also realized as I listened to another launch from another group I participate in that some similar language was being used, and I reminded myself the Hero’s Journey has an unlimited number of paths, and many, if not all of us, are each on our unique path. Sometimes, the language of that journey overlaps.
I’ve had a very blessed life. I’ve learned to be happy in recent years, but I am not satisfied. This is a very personal journey, and it’s likely to be one of the hardest — and quite possibly, one of the easiest — things I’ve ever done. When I am successful, I believe it will be worth it.