Friday Snippets: Twilight
You haven’t had as much exposure to Twilight as you have to Threads & Ties, so you’re getting another Twilight installment today. This is a few pages later in the story from the last installment. I skipped the staff meeting and a feedback session between Charlie and Valencia. Does that tell me something I can use in the revision? Maybe. Today, you’re going to meet Pete. Pete is an unwitting villain. You’ve met Valencia. She’s making her move.
NOTICE: This material is copyrighted, first draft, certainly contains errors, and possibly not even going to be in the final draft of anything. Do not quote or repost anywhere or in any format. Thanks.
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That temporary hire they had, what was her name?Valerie, Val-something-Hispanic.Oh, yeah, Valencia.God, she was distracting.Her desk was right outside his office.He found himself watching the scenery more often than was prudent.She’d look directly at him and smile this big, disarming smile.He felt embarrassed when she did that, like he was doing something wrong by looking out his door.In a way, he knew he was.Christ, he was a married man, not that Suzan seemed to care, but still.
He pretended to push some papers around on his desk. He returned to his computer screen. The MX-5 was still displayed. His computer screen faced away from the door. Nobody had to know how much time he spent at the Mazda site selecting and re-selecting his dream car–a red Mazda MX-5. A flash of something caught the corner of his eye. Valencia‘s desk didn’t have a privacy panel on the front of it, and her legs were spread wide revealing a bright white panty crotch. He quickly averted his eyes to study his computer screen. His heart was racing, and he fought to get control of his breathing. Was she doing that on purpose? She’d been watching him when he’d peeked out. He looked out of the corner of his eye, she was smiling at her computer screen. Oh, God! He checked the clock? Yes, he could slide out a little early and stop at the Mazda dealer tonight. He logged off the computer and left the office. On his way past her desk, he said, “Good night, Valencia.†She gave him an Academy Award winning smile, “Good night, Pete. See you tomorrow!†He smiled back and concentrated on walking out the door. As the door closed behind him, he dared to breathe again. He felt like a teenager. Why was she affecting him this way?
Whoa. Methinks Pete is waaay out of his depth 😀
I agree about the depth.
Typo, “He checked the clock?” – should that be a period? I love the sense of character we get just by knowing his dream car is a Mazda MX-5.
Jess, I’m not sure. That question mark may be intentional, but the question is valid, and, technically, you’re probably right.
Wow – 🙂 I loved how quickly we got into his character. I *almost* feel sorry for him – especially about his dream car. I got the “On Writing” book in the mail, btw. Thanks again – so far it’s great!
‘Why was she affecting him this way?’
It’s called hormones, Pete. 🙂
Nice snippet. I’m sure she does it on purpose. The panty flashing, I mean.
Hehe, hormones indeed!
Oh nicely done. Gotta love hormones, they keep things interesting.
I agree with Meryl, he is waaay out of his depth. Great snippet. 🙂
Why do I think that Pete is in for a lot of trouble. It might be trouble he enjoys for a while, but it’s plain that Val is going to create problems for him. (grin)
Pete’s obviously got a problem keeping his mind and his eyes where they belong. I mean, if he had any real integrity he wouldn’t be ooogling Mazdas on company time. there was no evidence here he ever gave his job a moments thought.
Hi Jean!
I just wanted to stop by and thank you for scribbling on the walls of my blog! Stop by any time!
Valencia is certainly making one heck of a move! Poor poor Pete.
Oh, yeah, she’s flashing those panties on purpose. Of course, he doesn’t have to look. That little smile told me she knew he saw.
You’ve definitely got his feelings down–admitting to feeling young again and buying a new car are some of the first things a man about to cheat, or already cheating on his wife, does.
Glad to know I have captured Pete so well. The scene I couldn’t share because the rating goes beyond this blog is how Pete came to become a target of Valencia in the first place.
Pete’s wife Suzan may not be interested in him, but she’s been plenty busy elsewhere. Pete doesn’t know that, though.