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Friday Snippets: Twilight — 14 Comments

  1. I agree about the depth.

    Typo, “He checked the clock?” – should that be a period? I love the sense of character we get just by knowing his dream car is a Mazda MX-5.

  2. Jess, I’m not sure. That question mark may be intentional, but the question is valid, and, technically, you’re probably right.

  3. Wow – 🙂 I loved how quickly we got into his character. I *almost* feel sorry for him – especially about his dream car. I got the “On Writing” book in the mail, btw. Thanks again – so far it’s great!

  4. ‘Why was she affecting him this way?’

    It’s called hormones, Pete. 🙂

    Nice snippet. I’m sure she does it on purpose. The panty flashing, I mean.

  5. Why do I think that Pete is in for a lot of trouble. It might be trouble he enjoys for a while, but it’s plain that Val is going to create problems for him. (grin)

  6. Pete’s obviously got a problem keeping his mind and his eyes where they belong. I mean, if he had any real integrity he wouldn’t be ooogling Mazdas on company time. there was no evidence here he ever gave his job a moments thought.

  7. Oh, yeah, she’s flashing those panties on purpose. Of course, he doesn’t have to look. That little smile told me she knew he saw.

    You’ve definitely got his feelings down–admitting to feeling young again and buying a new car are some of the first things a man about to cheat, or already cheating on his wife, does.

  8. Glad to know I have captured Pete so well. The scene I couldn’t share because the rating goes beyond this blog is how Pete came to become a target of Valencia in the first place.

    Pete’s wife Suzan may not be interested in him, but she’s been plenty busy elsewhere. Pete doesn’t know that, though.